I've been racking my brain to try and pinpoint the exact time I truly felt fat. Was it the first time I stood up in a plastic lawn chair and it remained stuck on my hips? Or was it the first time I had to buy a size 16 pair of pants? (I have a couple of size 18 now) Or was it the first time I looked at the height and weight chart at my doctor's office and realized that not only am I overweight, I'm technically obese?
Or perhaps it was the time I was ripping off toilet paper and pulling it across my body and the end of it got caught in my fat crack (referenced in post #1 as the space where my belly fat lies on my thigh) causing a square to rip off the end and sit there protruding from my side like a hanging tongue! As I sat there I said to myself..."There you have it, you are officially fat sister!"
Here's the thing, I put my weight on (until these past two years) very gradually, like most people do. I am also blessed with genetics that cause me to distribute my weight pretty evenly. Therefore I have to be pretty darn heavy for my stomach to really start sticking out. But the time has come...it is out and it aint coming back in without some work.
And then there is the problem I encounter where I actually have to argue with people about the fact that I am fat. Allow me to explain. I'm a pretty jovial, fun, loving person. I have a pretty face, great hair, and I dress fairly well. My life is filled with wonderful friends and colleagues. Now I realize that it is not good to make derogatory comments about my weight and it is something I need to greatly reduce, however, I am not being dishonest.
So when I say something about my fat behind and a friend or colleague says "You're not fat" I actually get perturbed. Yes...I am fat. No...I'm not a terrible person but yes...I am fat! When you're 5'8" and weigh as much as most of the Tampa Bay Buccaneer pro football players, honey, you're fat.
But here's the great news. I don't have to be forever. I actually refuse to look at one more picture and think..."Who in the world is that fat lady with my husband?" Might mean I'm not taking a picture for a very long time. Just kidding...
<3 You are so inspiring. This made me laugh and I love that you also stated all of your GREAT qualities. And your fat is amazing, too. It helped you, in some way, get through the horror many of us will never understand. So YEAY SO YOUR FAT. But, as a tribute to Lauren, she would want you be be a healthy weight and, perhaps more importantly, happy with yourself. I love you to pieces, dear friend, and I'll be cheering for you. <3 The Killer Snot Choker.
ReplyDeleteDang. They don't let you edit here. YEAY FORRRRR* YOUR FAT. (That chick who thought a typing class was useless in high school)
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